Return
by Andy101
Summary: Katniss has rescued Peeta from the capitol but now that she has him what is she really planning to do with him? Her feelings for him are strong but is it love or guilt that drives them?


**A/N: This is was intended as a oneshot but once I finished I realized there was potential for more. I think I'll brainstorm on the thought of making this into a larger story but we'll see. As always reviews are always appreciated. **

**P.S I am not Mrs. Collins because if I was Peeta and Katniss would be married for real and I would not be praying for Peeta's safety every night. LOL  
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The sobbing is what woke me. Not THE sobbing, my sobbing. I was crying in my sleep again and the tears were so thick that my most present nightmare featured me drowning in the oceans surrounding the Cornocpia. I was fighting against the waters, trying to reach land, trying to reach Peeta, but the waves kept pulling me down, waves that transformed into the pointed fingernails of President Snow's hands, clutching at my arms, dragging me down.

It took me about 5 seconds to register that I had been crying in my sleep and another 2 to realize that the hands I thought I had dreamt were real. Only they weren't clutching but reassuring. I violently shook them off and bolted upright in bed. I turned to find a perplexed Peeta sitting beside me. His face though scarred, was still beautiful and kind. He possessed a kindness that could not be stolen from him…no matter how much pain he was put through in the attempt.

"Peeta!" I gasp "you're alive, you're here!" a sob erupts from my throat in hot relief as memories from the past month come flooding back to me. Memories of Peeta's narrow rescue from the sewer- like cell he was confined in. Memories of the month he spent in the hospital, usually with me by his side watching as he drifted painfully in and out of consciousness. Then, last night he had wordlessly followed me back to my room and I just as wordlessly welcomed him into my bed.

"shhh…" Peeta sooths as he rubs my back. "I'm here now Katniss, you rescued me. I'm here now." I fling myself into his embrace and fasten my arms around his neck, holding him tighter to assure myself that this is not a dream, that I really do have him back. Once he recovers from his initial shock at my reaction he holds me by the waist as he slowly rocks me in a calming fashion.

I don't know how long it takes me to compose myself but I know it must have been a while because by the time I un-burrow my head from the crux of his neck, his shirt is drenched with my tears.

"Oh God" I groan as I examine the mess I made. "Just look at what I did to your shirt." A small grin appears at the corners of his lips, he's obviously relived that I've come back to myself, but he only shrugs in response.

"It's pretty gross, you should take it off" I say as I reach down to pull it off him without a second thought. When it's off I see the scars that mar his skin and I fight to hold back the cries that tighten in my chest.

"I can't believe you are consoling ME when you're the one… you're the one who was taken and …Oh Peeta I'm so sorry! I should have been there with you back in the arena. I should have never left your side, because of me you were-" he cuts me off then.

"Because of you I am alive. You have saved me more than once so you can't blame yourself Katniss. Besides….I'm happy it was me and not you." I look into his gentle blue eyes and see the absolute certainty in them.

"You really mean that don't you. God Peeta just how much of yourself to you plan to give me? How much do you expect me to take? Can't you ever think about yourself?"

"Katniss, thinking of you is thinking about myself, for as long as I can remember I've been yours." His words don't shock me like they should because somehow I already knew this. I lean over and kiss him. It's our first kiss since the beach and it's gentle and warm and somehow sad. After a few moments Peeta pulls back and kisses my temple. Then he pets my hair as he whispers into my ear. "Thanks."

"You're welcome" I murmur as I lean in to kiss him again. He only gives me a sad smile and I pull back confused, waiting for him to explain.

"Thank you for the thought but you don't have to," he continues when he sees that I am still confused. "You don't have to force yourself Katniss, with the rebellion and all… there is no one to force us to get married." He pauses briefly and though neither his words or expressions show it I can tell his next statement causes him pain. "You and Gale stand a chance now, you don't owe me anything" when he finishes I don't wait. I pounce. I'm kissing him again and it's not the tender kisses we had shared before. These are fast and hungry, he doesn't fight me, but I can tell that he thinks he should by the way he holds back.

"You don't understand Peeta-and I know it's my fault you don't understand but it's different now, I'm different now" I pause to untangle the words that are bubbling up inside me. "When you were taken from me I was void and nothing could fill the space you left. Peeta I _need_ you with me to live," I pause again. "You mentioned before that you belong to me, well I don't know how but a large part of me belongs to you to. I didn't know it before and I still can't quite grasp it but all I know is that I need you Peeta and that I want to kiss you. I want to feel you beside me at night, to feel your fingers in mine when I can't stand on my own, to hear your voice and if possible to see your smile." I'm crying again but it's not sobs of hysteria that had possessed me earlier but silent tears of remorse. Remorse, that I wasn't able to tell him any of this before, regret that I'm too stupid to fully understand myself.

Peeta kisses away my tears silently and in the darkness of my room my lips seek out his and when they meet it's a new kind of kiss. A slow passionate kiss, a kiss met with no resistance from either party, no extra thoughts just emotion. I pull Peeta down into the bed and we lie side by side kissing each other into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
